Sexy lingerie as this year’s resolution
Wearing sexy lingerie has always been my secret New Year’s resolution since I can remember. Reading more books, doing more sports, going to bed earlier, drinking more water, working on self-confidence, thinking less about sex… all these are legitimate and virtuous New Year’s resolutions that no doubt will improve anyone’s life to a major extent. It’s just that besides the resolutions that impact the grand scheme of things in life, I’ve always made an additional commitment to wearing matching sexy lingerie. Meaning where the bra matches with the panties: a non-negligible detail to the resolution that requires an unsurprising amount of effort and logistics to be fulfilled.
Photo by Fahad Waseem
Lingerie has always been a thing for me. Since high school my friends knew that when they bought lingerie for my birthday, they would have made me the happiest person. My mum knew as well and when asking for suggestions for what kind of lingerie to buy me, I would always answer “the sexiest”.
Unfortunately, sexy lingerie is not everything I have in my drawer. While the bras are always sexy, the underwear is composed of four categories of (un)sexiness. The white grandma panties correspond to the category of underwear I use to sleep (tight). They’re so large that they literally hug you. Their reassuring 100% cotton fabric is a guarantee that your sleep won’t be disturbed. Ever. The second category is composed of panties I use during my period. They are made of Lycra and dark colored and this makes them stain-proof. Meaning that when you wash them first in cold water with salt and shampoo and after at 90 degrees with soap, the nasty stains that dare not to go are not visible anyway. For regular days when I am in a regular mood doing regular things, I have my regular panties of the third category. These are discrete lace panties in nude or pastel colors. They can be made of Lycra or cotton and have an eco-friendly attitude because they use less of both materials to be made compared to the first two categories. I use this type of panties also to do sports because they do not add a bulky layer of cloth under my gym leggings.
Photo by Nati Melnichuk
And finally there is the fourth category. (Notice that I interrupted the paragraph before with a picture to make you believe I had forgotten about this last, dangerous category and that you read till now for nothing muahahahah!) The underwear that belongs to this category is what you wear the mornings where you already feel fabulous. You don’t have your period, your hair looks shiny and new, your skin is radiant, your last wax epilation was less than three weeks ago and you managed to paint your nails the night before. You know you’re about to start what is going to be a great day. Days like that, commonly referred to as “ovulation”, are the (few) days where the bras match with the panties. These are the days where you aren’t necessarily end up showing off your lingerie to someone, making him believe he got you in bed while the contrary is true. Nope. These are the days that you want to live feeling: “you don’t know what you’re missing here!”
I hope it is clear by now why wearing sexy lingerie is a tough one. It requires so much alignment: your laundry schedule, your menstrual cycle, waxing appointments, manicure, hair done, Venus and all the satellites of Jupiter. Hence it makes absolute sense that this goal is eligible as a New Year’s resolution: if you nail it, then this spares you from working on your confidence because you are already a super woman!
Photo by Sincerely Media
Needless to say, I am not a super woman: I failed miserably at this resolution every.single.year since I’m 16 years old. Despite having, however, an improvement curve with a fairly steep positive derivative at around age 27-29, all my results were destroyed by the pandemic.
Suddenly, I didn’t need to get dressed to go to work and simple and comfy clothes would do their job. The same thing happened to the underwear. Bras became unnecessary. I only needed to place the camera so that it would not show below the neckline and… I don’t remember the last time I worked from home wearing one. A similar downgrade happened to the panties as well as to my laundry routine, probably due to my constant bad mood. Besides the days with my period where I would wear category two (thanks God the pandemic did not affect those!), I would only wear night panties from category one even with the daylight. Until I didn’t have any left and I was forced to pass to category three. Until I didn’t have any left and I was timidly forced to pass to category… four. Category four is the category of the sexy underwear. Only, I felt rather idiot sitting 10 hours on a chair in front of my laptop wearing a lace thong with no bra. And even more idiot when doing sumo squats in my living room as this fourth category is rather painful in this case. At that point and only at the point I would surrender and finally do the laundry.
Photo by Andrej Lisakov
How about those summer days where Covid was less concerning and we were allowed to go to work? Even worse. The bad attitude around lingerie that I picked up during the lockdowns sticked with me. More often than I’d like to admit, I happened to realize I was wearing grandma panties once I was already out. And bras… oh bras. The first time I went to the office after the lockdown I felt breathless because, I thought, of the thrill of being around human beings again. Wrong! It was because of the bra. I wasn’t used to it anymore and it was so tight that I even got a muscle contracture that day. Gosh, how difficult it is to keep up with New Year’s resolutions!
Quote by Dita von Teese
Now I’d love to know more about you. Share in the comments below your New Year’s resolution, if you have any. And suggestions on improving sexy lingerie logistics are always welcome!